Let’s Hear it for the Feet.

This is not a description of a scientific experiment. I know that, I am describing what happened in the hope that someone can check whether my idea has any merit or not. If it does, it could have major implications for horse and people safety.

Driving to London with a wheelchair enabled, one man, pony drawn vehicle, you need a pony. And if your ambition is to drive round Hyde Park, on your own, from a wheelchair, pulled by the pony, you have got to get the pony across London, and into Hyde Park. For the moment I will ignore the problems with the Police who discovered that Obama, the pony, was eating Royal Grass. Thank God he wasn’t smoking it, or there would have been a summary execution. As it was, it took 20 minutes to persuade the police that taking a scared animal back onto Kensington Gore, and driving at 3mph, at 4.30 on a Friday half a mile to get to the proper entrance for Hyde Park, was suicide. Their initial reaction was that at least Obama wouldn’t be eating the Queens Grass. No he would be splattered down Kensington Gore, which is probably how it got its name.

The reason Obama was so scared, was odd. We had been trying to operate off SatNav which doesn’t have a “pony frightened of heavy traffic” setting, and Obama was stressed. So was I, but it was my choice to be there. Trying to cross Kensington Gore, just west of Kensington Palace Gardens, I reached an impasse. Obama simply wouldn’t go across one bit of pavement. Nothing I could do would change his mind. he was permanently scared and intermittently terrified, but I could see, hear and smell nothing that explained the level of fear.

Later having done Hyde Park, we were heading for Paddington, safety and cheap grass, not Royal Grass, where Obama and I could camp in safety in the shade of the tower blocks, surrounded by people who wanted to help, and chat to Obama. Crossing some obscene new office development, obviously designed for hedge fund managers to sneer at the neighbourhood, Obama again threw a complete wobbler. Again, no logical reason, and indeed, apart from the terrifyingly smug, I’m all right Jack , school of architecture, there was no obvious threat.

But Caitlin O’Connell-Rodwell, a biologist at Stanford University in Palo Alto, California has shown that Elephants hear through their feet.. A pony’s feet are acoustic devices, just listen to one that hasn’t had metal nailed to it, going along the road. They are shaped like the end of a stethoscope, the end they freeze your tits with, not the end they stick in their ears. Is there any reason they can’t hear through their feet, if elephants can.

And wouldn’t the underground scare you rigid if you didn’t know what it was. It could have been water pipes, gas mains, sewers. I don’t know, but I strongly suspect that ponies can hear through their feet, and maybe, if some scientist can perform a simple experiment and prove this, people will think twice before they nail lumps of metal to their ears. Nailing it to feet is barbaric enough. to ears is sick.

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5 Responses to Let’s Hear it for the Feet.

  1. jasoda says:

    Wow very very funny writing…and having just made a bitless driving bridle without blinkers out of a headcollar and a bit of nylon cord…work in progress (fabulous effect on the pony)..and continueing to go out shoeless I am on the same page as was when we met this summer in Glastonbury.
    Still trying to convince the older daughter who is fledged to Bristol and gone under the influence of mainstream certificate holding horsemanship….shoes, bits etc…
    I just pray and continue our way here. Just found the bitless centre in wales and hope to visit them soon, prap collaborate with them in some way..
    Regards to you and Obama et al…
    Jasoda

    • Good to hear from you, am gradually getting my act together and putting up the story of the trip, and the few nice people who made it all worthwhile. We arrived in Wells to be kicked out of St Cuthbert’s churchyard on the grounds that they weren’t there for “your sort of people.” So I went round with Obama apologising to everyone else in the churchyard who were surprised to find God doesn’t like people who travel with beasts of burden. Didn’t he have a son who travelled by donkey, or am I thinking of someone else.
      Good to hear from you again, and hope we will meet again soon.
      Simon pp Obama

  2. lorna says:

    Was it ‘over’ the underground tunnels? The sqeals and groans are scary and are known to shake the buildings above

    • I have to check with my A to Z which is currently at b, q or f, I think, but I think what we need is someone to do a simple experiment playing subsonic sounds through the ground to one group of horses and not to another. Scientists really like controls and the fact that there was a an underground right under me, wouldn’t be seen as evidence. Caitlin O’Connell-Rodwell had to provide evidence that a control group didn’t react, while those exposed to the sounds did. However it would be easier working with ponies, than elephants, less travel costs for a start, and I hope she can get the funding to add it to her list.
      But keep the concept in mind. It might be water mains, or sewers, or even underground power transmission cables, in fact anything producing strange vibrations underground.
      The other problem is that the subsonic stuff can transmit over half a mile easily, so it may not be as location critical. So, as I say, soem serious scientific stuff is called for, but the more anecdotal stuff we can collect, the better the chance that the research will come up with all the answers.
      Simon

  3. florayG says:

    Aha! See my other post about my mare refusing to pass a bank being hunted with ferrets – maybe she could FEEL the chaos underground?

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